it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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