at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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