next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
