We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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