she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
