The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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