OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
