I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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