you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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