Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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