i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
