1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
a search helicopter?!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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