all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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