i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
