I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I still donβt believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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