Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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