FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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