Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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