dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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