Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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