can we get nightvision for the apartment?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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