Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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