conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize