Pregnant stripper...not hot.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
