I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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