After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
