I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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