To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
