He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
