WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
