we're blogging at a bar
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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