using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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