Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
