So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i believe in u and ur pee
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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