I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
