"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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