3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize