wakey wakey hands off snakey
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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