and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
