hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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