Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
