her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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