i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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