sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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