I got her a Nickelback box set.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
