Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize