i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
