nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
