is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
