lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
