Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
