We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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