u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
