Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
