this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
