Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
