I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
