Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
