I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
