Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
