guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this boner is exhausting
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
