You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
